One of the most surprising things I experienced when I started training seriously was challenging the way I view myself. Just because you grow up thinking you are not physically gifted, doesn’t mean you can’t re-define yourself and become an athlete later in life.
When I was at school, I was much more of an academic than a sporty kid. It seemed like other kids got this special ability to enjoy doing physical activity that I missed out on. I didn’t have the language for it in my body. I felt like an outsider when others could gain enjoyment from movement, but the point of it passed me by.
If you had asked me, I would have said I was bad at sports-or at best, disinterested.
I went into my twenties with a fairly high alcohol dependency, I smoked heavily. I was very much the party person throughout my twenties and thirties. Despite my less than disciplined behaviour outside of the corporate world, my career went from strength to strength. Unfortunately, by my mid 30’s I was also hugely obese and physically incredibly unwell. My work was no longer driving me in the same way it had previously. I knew that I was missing something, I just wasn’t sure what it was.
1. I can train and enjoy it
I had done some training with a personal trainer in my home prior to joining my first gym. I was too embarrassed about my size and lack of fitness to turn up to a commercial gym at that point. During my time with him, I discovered that I could do more than I realised with my body. That in fact if I challenged myself I could move well, learn correct lifting technique and actually enjoy it.
When I started training at my first martial arts gym, it was a slow start. A few classes a week, I wasn’t hugely committed. Gradually it grew on me, and I started to become more and more engaged in what I was doing.
It wasn’t a chore to get through the classes any more. I was genuinely enjoying moving my body for the first time in my life. I started to anticipate training each day, and I would get excited because I knew I was going to test myself that evening.
2. I like going into the “Pain Cave”
The feeling of getting up to the edge of my limits and then seeking to go beyond them is highly addictive. I have read that it’s not uncommon for people with a history of addictive substance behaviours to gravitate towards painful, all consuming activities like ultra-endurance sports and martial arts. We got used to hurting ourselves in unhealthy, unproductive ways. This is a way of hurting that is actually beneficial.
Martial arts training is something that can be rewarding for anyone though-not just people with my past habits.
I feel bloody amazing after a good training session where I push my boundaries and force myself to stay in a state of mental or physical pain for periods of time without giving up. The after glow and sense of achievement is indescribable.
3. If I don’t do it, I get anxious
Athletic achievement has become such a huge part of my daily and weekly goal setting. When I fail to stick to my training plan, or undercook a session in some way, I feel the cognitive dissonance of not doing what I said I would do. It’s no longer ok with me to set goals that I fail to stick to. It bothers me deep down inside. The more you invest, the more you feel like this is something that you said you would do, the harder it is to not deliver according to the plan. It makes you feel irritable and disappointed in yourself.
Letting yourself off the hook feels way more uncomfortable than doing the work you said you would do.
Also-I get mad FOMO. I want to turn up to the gym, get a sweat on, have some banter with my team mates. I feel like I am missing out when I just hang at home.
One important caveat on this one: some times you actually need a break. It’s often hard to decipher if it’s laziness vs the need to rest for either physical or emotional reasons. But it gets easier to identify accurately the more often you question yourself on this.
4. I analyse myself to see where I can improve
Even when I win a fight or have a good training session, I analyse what I could have done differently. I understand there is always more to work on. And that’s not only ok with me, it gets my engine going. How good! There is still more to learn, to keep refining. You finish fixing one thing in your game, then its back to the start to go again tweaking something else.
On the flip side, a loss doesn’t define me or make me give up. I’ve had a couple of really bad losses, one which gave me the feeling of wanting to quit afterwards. But I knew if I trusted myself to work through it, I would come out the other side and still want to keep boxing. Even a bad fight will have redeeming features. The balance and objectivity is important.
5. I can change my body and level of fitness through hard work
My aesthetic transformation was pretty extreme and noticeable. It’s something that many people focus on when they talk to me about my training and boxing. I’m certainly proud of it, but honestly it’s a side effect of learning to box-granted, a very welcome one. I like to buy cute new clothes, and I like to feel attractive and fit, and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
Each time I start a new strength program, focus on building a skill or crank up my conditioning, I can see and feel the difference in my body. It’s a pretty sensational feeling, and it comes with a strong sense of comfort and control too. Anyone with a history of being over weight or unfit knows the feeling of being “trapped” at the mercy of a body that doesn’t do what you want it to.
I now trust that I can do the work and get the results I want. I do believe that this applies to absolutely everyone. As long as you are consistent and honest in your approach, your body will come along for the ride and deliver what you need it to in the moment.
6. I am coachable
I actively seek feedback. I want to know what my biggest weaknesses are so that I can double down on improving them. Tell me what I am absolutely shithouse at! I love to hear it. None of this is criticism, it is all just truth bombs from your coaches and team mates.
Yes, sometimes I get frustrated with myself, but I throttle it back hard these days. All it does is ruin your focus. Nothing worse than cracking it because you didn’t do something well and wallowing in misery. I was absolutely guilty of this previously. Nowadays, I accept that I will always make mistakes and have weaknesses, and that makes me more coachable.
It also helps me feel more confident in trying new things, and applying what I have been learning on to improve my game. When you know that you can live with a high failure rate, it is so much easier to implement what you’ve been working on.
7. I understand my responsibility to others
This includes people new to training, my team mates, coaches, my friends and family who I sacrifice time with so that I can train.
I believe it is important to recognise that other people are watching you train and perform. It’s important to acknowledge that the way you conduct yourself might influence someone else. Also, I like to think about my coaches and team mates who have invested time and energy in my development. I believe you have a duty to respect this investment both in a fight, and also in how you train daily.
Show them this attention was worth it in how you carry yourself and how you represent your gym.
8. I have other things in my life
It’s easy to let this become a complete obsession, and only think about boxing and fighting. Initially, I was so all in, I had no headspace for anything else. I trained like a maniac with zero balance in my life for the first 18 months or so. It gets tiring, and you can collect yourself quite the impressive list of injuries doing this.
I am so happy I have rediscovered things that I used to do, like reading, meditation and yoga. Being able to make time for people and activities that are unrelated to boxing is so important.
9. I prioritise my recovery as much as my training
I am an all or nothing person. Being able to introduce some balance to my temperament has been probably one of things I am most proud of. When I train, I train hard. When I rest, I rest good.
My recovery day is now sacred. I know that it’s essential to unwind and recover from the demands I place on my body and nervous system.
Going back to point #3 above. Sometimes, you need to take an extra break too. We all have lives. This sometimes means you need to honour your work, family or other relationships instead of blindly sticking to the plan. Nervous system burn out is not a joke. If I feel totally strung out, I will sometimes adjust my rest day or skip a session. I don’t opt to be punched in the head on these occasions.
10. I call myself a boxer
When I started at my first gym, I had been training Muay Thai for about 18 months. I wasn’t talented, or particularly skilled, just really hard working.
I was asked by one of the gym owners if I wanted to compete in a masters boxing tournament. Looking back, I’m shocked that I jumped in with only 5 months boxing experience, but you don’t know what you don’t know at the time.
As soon as I started boxing, it was so obvious that this came far more naturally to me. I immediately started calling myself a boxer. Conversely, I had been very uncomfortable talking about training in Muay Thai. The more that I used the phrase “I am a boxer” the more it felt real to me, and the easier it made it to commit to training fully and keep reaching for bigger challenges.
All this is to say that I never saw myself as an athletic person. Up until my late 30’s, I was the “smart person”, not the “active person”, which aligned to how I saw myself growing up.
Having this degree of change and transformation in my life as a result of taking up boxing has been truly astonishing. The physical and outward manifestations are very obvious. However, changing the way I see myself has been the thing that has blown me away the most. I have seen this happen for many others too, and I think this is achievable for absolutely anyone who wants to follow this path.
A couple of photos of me doing things I never thought possible. Strength training and fighting, now two of my favourite past times.
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