Are you turning up to training some days unsure how much you love being hit? Do you think to yourself “I don’t have to do this! it’s really hard!” If so, congratulations, we all have these thoughts! Being a successful fighter means knowing your reason “why” so that you can push back against those voices.
Understanding your reason why is essential when you are struggling in any way during the learning process. Fighting or even just training for the sake of it can be immensely physically, emotionally and mentally demanding. When the going gets tough, it pays to have a strong reason why you are training to cling to. Because no matter what level you compete or train at, it’s going to get tough.
Training and fighting has been transformative in my life. I’m unashamed to admit that it’s helped me to overcome some deeply entrenched, self destructive behaviours. This is partly what keeps me coming back and motivated to train, and forms a large part of my “why”.
Here are a few ways to narrow down on your personal reason “why” and keep it relevant to your current training.
1. How to establish your personal “why”
I think when you first start, you don’t know what you don’t know. Some people really take to combat sports and want to go all the way to a fight. Some will enjoy sparring and training, but purely to learn a new skill, not to fight. Still others will get everything they need from a good combat fitness class-and all of these examples are totally valid.
What they will all typically have in common is that they are anchored in a reason “why”. If you are unsure how to define your why, here are a few questions that might help kick start your thinking around your own training:
- What is it that you love about it?
- How do you feel when you train?
- If you are an actively fighting, how do you feel when you fight?
- Has it replaced something less constructive in your life (does it keep you out of trouble!)?
- What knock on positive effects in your physical, mental and relationship health have you experienced?
- Has it given you confidence in another area of your life that was lacking?
Taking some time to ask these questions and physically note down your answers is a great way to tease out your own “why”.
2. Here are my “whys”
One of my core reasons for fighting is that it helps me to remain sober. Not all the time-I stumble sometimes, but I am a human being. Before I started training, I had been abusing alcohol since I was 18 years old-around 20 years. I was a heavy smoker too, and would often find myself binge eating.
Boxing gives me a point of focus that helps me to avoid this behaviour. You simply cannot drink heavily, smoke cigarettes and eat poor food and expect to perform your best in the ring.
As I replaced my unhealthy habits with boxing, I began enjoying the process of being outside my comfort zone. It has become a bit of a mission to see how far and hard I can go, especially in the frame of being an older fighter. It brings me a lot of satisfaction to keep up with the younger fighters at my gym. Also, training with much younger, talented team mates pushes me to be a better athlete.
I like to show others what is possible if you don’t give up. It’s easy to see the before and after photos and think it happened overnight. But it’s not easy, and I will tell anyone that asks that it’s the non-stop, day after day grind that gets you there. And to stay focused and consistent you need that “why”.
And finally, it translates into other areas of my life. If I ever need to do something challenging, I just think “well, no one is about to hit me!” It’s surprising how easy things like public speaking, initiating challenging conversations or making high risk/high reward decisions become when you have had a fight.
3. Talk to other fighters for inspiration
This can be a very personal question. People might have a very private motivation for doing this that they don’t wish to share out loud. Other people-I’m one of them-are happy to share freely why they fight. I like that this might help someone else.
A highly respected fighter I know tells me that this is his way of standing in the face of being an underdog, having been bullied as a child. Fighting allows him to prove to himself and others that he is in control. He loves the feeling of achievement after a fight. His exact words were that “doing something this hard makes everything else seem easier”.
When I spoke with Emma Cartwright, rising Muay Thai star (3 Wins/1 Loss) she told me that “fighting helps me surprise myself with what I am capable of”. She expanded on this, saying that it also helps her to build confidence in her ability to do much harder things in other areas of her life.
Noticing a theme here? Never be in doubt that this is an incredibly hard thing to do. However, the knock on rewards into every area of life are numerous.
4. Let your “why” evolve
It’s ok for your why to evolve constantly. In fact, it’s healthy to review this periodically.
Sarah Kwa started training in Muay Thai by accident. Her partner at the time was competing, she saw his evolution and thought “I need that too.” The fight gym became a haven for her during difficult times. She says that “training was an outlet that allowed me to express myself while shutting out all of the noise.”
She went into her first fight with the vague idea that this was a way of testing what she had learned. After losing the fight convincingly, she came away from the experience humbled, and forced to truly define her “why” before attempting to fight again. She took 6 months to do just that.
As she gained experience, her “why” evolved into simply being the best that she could personally be. This “why” supported her in taking leaps of faith, seizing any opportunity that would allow her to enjoy the moment . She is now heading into the end of her active fighting career, having fought several times in Thailand, secured a state title belt and racked up an impressive 12 fights.
Her new “why” is to enjoy her life wholistically. She is seeking balance across her personal, professional and social life. So, Muay Thai is still a crucial part of her life. However, she has created room for other hobbies, her career and friends outside of the gym.
What did I take from listening to her walk through her 12 year long story of fighting? It’s important to be considered about your “why”.
Allowing your reason “why” to grow and change as your life changes will help you get the best out of your own personal experience.
Image 1: Sarah entering the ring for the first time
Image 2: Sarah having her hands wrapped, mentally preparing to step into the ring for a state title bout
Image 3: Post fight, Sarah poses as the new state champion after delivering a (literal) knock out head kick
5. Dream big! or dream small…. whatever floats ya boat really-it’s your dream.
Your reason for fighting and training can be as simple as: it helps me to stay fit and healthy.
Or: it makes me feel good after a long day in the office.
Another good one: it helps me manage my mental health and blow off steam.
It honestly doesn’t need to be a super serious reason. Don’t think it has to be something that would be included in an inspirational reel on Instagram. What’s most important is to recognise and be clear on what it is for you personally. What is also critical is that you continue to test it’s relevance to your life as you grow.
It’s one of the guaranteed ways to keep focused on your goals and keep you motivated to train.
It takes time to develop this too-don’t feel rushed. Give it the time it needs to come to you. Then the next time you have those voices in your head saying ” you’re tired, take a rest” or perhaps ” just skip today, it won’t make a difference” you will be much better equipped to remind yourself why you train and keep turning up for it.
What is your reason “why”? Comment below!
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